Sunday, January 29, 2012

“Adam”–Telling God Goodbye - - - The Agnostic Pastor

letter’, Telling God Goodbye, written by Adam. Adam is a fellow member of The Clergy Project and fellow pastor who is in the closet. Adam currently serves in the music ministry of a large church and is a gifted songwriter.

Adam was one of the original five pastors in the Dennett/LaScola study on Clergy who’ve lost their faith.  ( Adam has also been a pivotal part of the design and launch of The Clergy Project support site for agnostic/atheist clergy.  His work with TCP has affected many pastors, like myself, offering a safe place for us to share with others walking the same path.

Adam is a good friend of mine and has been a true source of encouragement as I’ve struggled with my loss of faith.  I know you’ll enjoy his story.

Telling God Goodbye

It has been nearly three years since I admitted to myself and a few select friends that I no longer believed in a god or the supernatural. This was not a trivial realization for a fundamental, conservative, evangelical member of the clergy. It was the day after our Easter service in 2009 that I also realized that I desperately needed to leave the ministry. What a painstaking and at the same time exciting journey it has been as I have prepared to step from the sheltered sanctuary into the real world. Now I sit in my office and reflect as this Sunday will be my last as a pastor after 25 years or service. While I have not a shred of belief left in the existence of god, I find myself seeking closure on this long chapter of my life. After all, God and I were best friends.

I remember crying when I first heard Julia Sweeney describe when she finally said goodbye to God in her fabulous monologue

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